Peety over at peety-passion.com posted a very intelligent article on the practice of plural relationships. But what I’m thinking is… relationships are hard work. If you’re good at them, it takes a lot of effort to stay in touch with your partner’s physical/emotional/spiritual well-being and make it a priority.

If you’re bad at relationships, with more than one person to deal with, you’d be up a serious shit-creek without the proverbial paddle.

I think this is the real reason that Mormons called it off. Of course, there’s also the fact that most Christian sects don’t particularly encourage sex, so the idea of having lots and lots of sex gives them terminal heebie-jeebies. If you’re a Christian and you have lots of sex, don’t write and yell at me about this statement. But on a side note: good for you.

I don’t really mind if people want to have plural marriages. When you’re young and sexy, I think it has a certain appeal. But when you get older, wiser, and more bitter, the only advantage would seem to be having a second wife to do the dishes while you finish blogging.

Like This? Then Show Some Love:

Jayne, it should be obvious “What’s Going on in Florida,” sweetness: Bingo, Spankings, and, um, Taking Matters in Hand.  But, Hmmm. “Will I become smarter if I stop masturbating?”  Oh, dear.

I started to leave a little comment….when I’d actually done research, realized I couldn’t stop myself with just a comment…..

This guy–and I know it IS a guy; just feel it in my bones–has either been fired from yet another job for some dumbass thing he’s done such as “spanking the monkey” while on the clock, OR his picture was among those featured in The Smoking Gun’s LABOR DAY TRIBUTE (of sorts) TO THE AMERICAN WORKER.

These bozeaux and bozettes were arrested, hauled down to the pokey, fingerprinted and (smile) mugshot for crimes committed while still wearing their work uniforms, ferchristsake. (And don’t get all churchy about my cussin’ — one of them was employed, coincidentally, by a Tampa FLORIDA church.)

I didn’t investigate to learn whether said crimes were against their employers or, mayhap, they popped out to knock off a liquor store on lunch break. 

BTW, to the inquirer: “No, stopping masturbating will NOT make you smarter.”  Despite what parents have told countless generations of young boys about blindness, someone’s parent(s) ignored the very real possibility of heriditary idiocy, lied and has made the poor boy believe wanking (and not their southern tendencies toward familial intermarriages for several generations) which is to blame. Don’t believe a word of it; I stopped briefly.  It only makes one cranky.

Like This? Then Show Some Love:

 I had no idea that Amazon.com sold so many ass products.  Not to mention other products for your shopping pleasure:

1. Anal Douche
2. Anal Eaze Cherry Flavor Desensitizing Numbing Gel  (Because not everyone likes the taste of ass, I suppose… And desensitizing?  Now I’m not all up on ass products and the uses thereof, but if someone was going to taste your ass, wouldn’t the whole point be so that you would feel it?  But I’m no expert.)
3. Ejaculoid 1 Bottle 60 Pills Semen/Orgasm Volumizer Like Ogoplex   Now maybe it’s just me… but I’ve never said to a partner… gee that was nice, I just wish there had been more juicy gush.  Besides, this sounds like something you’d get spam emails about.
4. Golden Girl Anal Jelly  Does this mean its endorsed by Bea Arthur?

There’s all kinds of other products… lubes and probes and vibrators, fuzzy handcuffs, suppliments and condiments… or were those condom-mints?

I’m not opposed to amazon having a ‘Sexual Health’ section, and it saves us from having to go to seedy websites to get such things (unless you happened to be there anyway, of course), or horror of horrors, actually walk into an adult store like… umm.. an adult.

What shocks me is that there is a whole side of amazon that I’d never seen before!  Here I’ve been just floating on the surface of books and dvd’s, blissfully unaware of the butt-plug underworld of the “Personal Care” section.  I somehow feel more street-wise, more savvy and sophisticated, like I now know some grown-up secret, or have the password to a speakeasy.

Enjoy!

Like This? Then Show Some Love:

Mercy me! While pondering the situation recently posited for our Bitter Readers, I decided to drop in on Bubbaworld - who seems to be a fellow keeping track of some of the stranger goin’s-on in Oklahoma. That could turn into a full-time job.

Bubba reminded me of “The Case of the Masturbating Judge.”  It seems that Creek County (OK) District Judge Donald Thompson used to, er, entertain himself whilst trials were being held before his bench.

“The Case of the Masturbating Judge takes Oklahoma’s Law and Order reputation to new levels, unfortunately very low levels. Creek County District Judge Donald Thompson “retired” while facing proceedings to oust him from the bench on allegations of using a “penis pump” to masturbate during both jury and non-jury trials, including those for first degree murder.  Thompson now stands a convicted felon following a jury trial in which he was found guilty of four counts of indecent exposure, sentenced to four years in prison, fined $40,000 and required to register as a sex offender.”

Ah, yes, that should be sweet enough, BWs; but, there’s more.

Before the matter came to trial, Thompson sent a letter of resignation to Gov. Brad Henry, which–if accepted–would allow him to retire with a full pension. Somewhere, sanity prevailed and the pension was revoked. Naturally, time on his hands (sorry), the incarcerated Thompson appealed the decision. (Lord knows that a man of his age, what with being a convicted sex offender–thus unemployable–needs the income.) According to THE TULSA WORLD (March 7, 2007):

“A hearing to determine whether to reinstate the state retirement benefits of former Creek County District Judge Donald D. Thompson has been continued indefinitely. “

Wahoo! Applause for the good guys.  Once again on June 21, 2007, THE TULSA WORLD reports:

“The Oklahoma Pardon and Parole Board on Wednesday unanimously voted not to grant former Creek County District Judge Donald D. Thompson parole.”

Sweet Jesus–sweet Justice…..

Like This? Then Show Some Love:

Over here in the Colonies, either we have a penchant for electing men to office who (A) won’t go home when the party is over, and (B) won’t keep their penis in their pants or confine said penii to a wife/partner, or American males’ combined Intelligence/Propriety Quotient has slipped way into the red zone.  We have a helluva crop of men—not drugged-out, megalomaniac Hollywoodies—but dammit all, elected politicians–who insist upon doing truly stupid things publicly.

Everyone remembers the anticlimactic—you should excuse the expression—Presidential sex scandal when then-US President Bill Clinton received some on-the-job relief from Ms. Monica Lewinsky, asked her to lie about it, faced the TV cameras himself and said, “I did not have sex with that woman.” Smiling Bill then lied to Congress his-damn-self and was impeached for lying, then continued to serve out his term. Where I come from that is called, “getting spanked…” (Code: “…on the wrist.”).

Fall of 2006, then-Congressional Representative Mark Foley, R-Fla., was accused of “inappropriate sexual contact with minors” those minors being teen-aged boys serving as Pages in that august institution.  The predictable posturing ensued, until the weasel was confronted with hard-copies of his steamy emails, after which he resigned and checked himself into an “Arizona facility.” His attorney’s statement said Foley was gay, an alcoholic, and had been molested by a priest as a teenage altar boy in Florida.  (In my university Logic class they called that a “Red Herring.”)

Godawmighty! It ain’t even safe to go to the toilet in—of all places that otta be safe—an airport.  Senator Larry Craig (R-Idaho) was arrested and pled guilty when held on a complaint of lewd conduct in the Minneapolis, MN, airport. (Notice I’ve skipped right past all the gut-busting things I could say about Homeland Security.) Senator Craig, a conservative Republican, has defended American morals by a public stand against gay and lesbian issues, chiefly same-sex marriage.  When facing the camera about these charges, the first thing he wanted the voters to know apparently was, “I’m not gay.”  (Did I just hear San Francisco emit a sigh of relief?)

I really want to know what it is about men and their dicks; then, throw power into the mix, and they get just nutty. I know it IS possible that there are women who’ve been elected to office who both (A) and (B)—yet, somehow they manage to stay out of (public toilets) and the media with their shenanigans.

In light of all this hanky-panky, I’m considering not using the Ladies loo any more. The best you can do in there is eavesdrop on juicy dishing and maybe scrounge a bit of hairspray. Hell, if I’da known you could get laid in the Men’s Room, I’da made the switch a long time ago.

Like This? Then Show Some Love: