I’m a geek. I admit that. I own more websites than I have fingers (maybe toes too, if you count domain names without homes.) But ZENO , the new robot from Hanson Robotics just creeps me out to high heaven.

Maybe this is why:

CHUCKY	ZENO

And in addition to being creepily adorable, according to the website, he “sees, hears, talks and remembers who you are”. So he’s a little stalker. I had always envisioned being stalked by someone tall, dark, handsome, and as obsessed with Boston Cream Pie as I am, but I suppose fantasty rarely meets reality, and I’ve probably got the best chances with this lightning-eyebrowed chucky thing.

If this isn’t enough, Hanson is developing a line called Humankind. Info from website: “Our bio-inspired HumanKind robots are world renowned for their amazing interactivity and conversational capabilities, which has placed them at the leading edge of life-like technologies in both appearance and behavior.”

Human-like behaviour? Great. This means we have a whole NEW race of drama-queens to deal with who leave snarky comments, stalk your websites, calls your mother and tell her you’re either losing or gaining weight (whichever will distress her more.. my mother freaks out at either situation)… they’ll probably make Humankind reality shows, and then next thing you know those metal-heads will start blogging about how to make money blogging.

P.S. I just noticed as I was finishing this up that ZENO already has his own blog .

This isn’t a paid blog post, but it really really shoulda been. Somebody owes me a pie.

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Being a women, I feel qualified to tell people “what women really want”.  And when I say ‘people’, I mean men, being the only non-women people there are, and women don’t need to be told what other women want, because we already know… its in the handbook.

My birthday is coming up next month, and my husband has been telling me to put some stuff on my wish list, because he’s given up on guessing what I want.  (Good for him, by the way.)

But what I really really want isn’t something I can put on my wish list, because I don’t even know if it’s possible to get one of these anymore….

If you don’t know who MacGuyver is, I really don’t know how to talk to you.

My favourite sister-in-law (heck one of my favourite people) we call “Susan-Fucking-MacGuyver”.  She’s got one of everything in this Mary Poppins bag of hers, and I have no doubt that she could escape from anywhere without much todo, because she’s the only woman I know who carries duct tape with her.  I’m not making this up.

Tease her as I might, I’m secretly jealous.  She’s prepared for everything.  But, I don’t have a Mary Poppins bag.  My poor little purse is miniscule in proportion, but lo and behold I find out there’s this MacGuyver Tool Kit available.  This is SO what I want.

If I had this tool kit, I could do anything.  I could be fearless.  Hell it would be the next best thing to being a pirate.  I have never in my life done anything remotely like swashbuckling, but I think if I had this toolkit, I might.

This post was inspired in part by TheWishfulWriter.  The dream, however, is entirely mine.

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 I had no idea that Amazon.com sold so many ass products.  Not to mention other products for your shopping pleasure:

1. Anal Douche
2. Anal Eaze Cherry Flavor Desensitizing Numbing Gel  (Because not everyone likes the taste of ass, I suppose… And desensitizing?  Now I’m not all up on ass products and the uses thereof, but if someone was going to taste your ass, wouldn’t the whole point be so that you would feel it?  But I’m no expert.)
3. Ejaculoid 1 Bottle 60 Pills Semen/Orgasm Volumizer Like Ogoplex   Now maybe it’s just me… but I’ve never said to a partner… gee that was nice, I just wish there had been more juicy gush.  Besides, this sounds like something you’d get spam emails about.
4. Golden Girl Anal Jelly  Does this mean its endorsed by Bea Arthur?

There’s all kinds of other products… lubes and probes and vibrators, fuzzy handcuffs, suppliments and condiments… or were those condom-mints?

I’m not opposed to amazon having a ‘Sexual Health’ section, and it saves us from having to go to seedy websites to get such things (unless you happened to be there anyway, of course), or horror of horrors, actually walk into an adult store like… umm.. an adult.

What shocks me is that there is a whole side of amazon that I’d never seen before!  Here I’ve been just floating on the surface of books and dvd’s, blissfully unaware of the butt-plug underworld of the “Personal Care” section.  I somehow feel more street-wise, more savvy and sophisticated, like I now know some grown-up secret, or have the password to a speakeasy.

Enjoy!

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Honestly.  What to say about the “Smile Trainer”.  As if in order to attain true happiness all we need to do is stick a piece of rubber in our mouths.  (To those of you with dirty minds thinking up naughty replies to that, just say no. )

Okay the existence of this product is funny enough on its own to justify appearance in my blog, but I can’t resist some kind of commentary on what this says about us.

Especially for women.  People don’t seem to mind if men grouse around or look “serious”, but if a woman gets pensive, all of a sudden it “must be that time of month”.

Sure we want people to smile and be happy, but sometimes telling people “smile” or “cheer up” isn’t really helpful.  If you want someone to smile, how about doing something thoughful, or surprising them with something sweet and unexpected…

Our mothers used to say “I’ll give you something to cry about!”  I wonder what would happen if we went around giving people something to smile about instead. 

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