Over here in the Colonies, either we have a penchant for electing men to office who (A) won’t go home when the party is over, and (B) won’t keep their penis in their pants or confine said penii to a wife/partner, or American males’ combined Intelligence/Propriety Quotient has slipped way into the red zone.  We have a helluva crop of men—not drugged-out, megalomaniac Hollywoodies—but dammit all, elected politicians–who insist upon doing truly stupid things publicly.

Everyone remembers the anticlimactic—you should excuse the expression—Presidential sex scandal when then-US President Bill Clinton received some on-the-job relief from Ms. Monica Lewinsky, asked her to lie about it, faced the TV cameras himself and said, “I did not have sex with that woman.” Smiling Bill then lied to Congress his-damn-self and was impeached for lying, then continued to serve out his term. Where I come from that is called, “getting spanked…” (Code: “…on the wrist.”).

Fall of 2006, then-Congressional Representative Mark Foley, R-Fla., was accused of “inappropriate sexual contact with minors” those minors being teen-aged boys serving as Pages in that august institution.  The predictable posturing ensued, until the weasel was confronted with hard-copies of his steamy emails, after which he resigned and checked himself into an “Arizona facility.” His attorney’s statement said Foley was gay, an alcoholic, and had been molested by a priest as a teenage altar boy in Florida.  (In my university Logic class they called that a “Red Herring.”)

Godawmighty! It ain’t even safe to go to the toilet in—of all places that otta be safe—an airport.  Senator Larry Craig (R-Idaho) was arrested and pled guilty when held on a complaint of lewd conduct in the Minneapolis, MN, airport. (Notice I’ve skipped right past all the gut-busting things I could say about Homeland Security.) Senator Craig, a conservative Republican, has defended American morals by a public stand against gay and lesbian issues, chiefly same-sex marriage.  When facing the camera about these charges, the first thing he wanted the voters to know apparently was, “I’m not gay.”  (Did I just hear San Francisco emit a sigh of relief?)

I really want to know what it is about men and their dicks; then, throw power into the mix, and they get just nutty. I know it IS possible that there are women who’ve been elected to office who both (A) and (B)—yet, somehow they manage to stay out of (public toilets) and the media with their shenanigans.

In light of all this hanky-panky, I’m considering not using the Ladies loo any more. The best you can do in there is eavesdrop on juicy dishing and maybe scrounge a bit of hairspray. Hell, if I’da known you could get laid in the Men’s Room, I’da made the switch a long time ago.

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There are certain signs that in our society, even the criminals are watching too much TV.  I saw a special on the Crime and Investigation network the other day and they were talking about a real New Jersey mob family who was convinced The Sopranos was based on them, and began watching it religiously to see if someone was leaking information, or as they call it in the ‘industry’, squealing.

The latest evidence that someone has spent too much time watching Sherlock Holmes on A&E (although I do confess a certain affection for Jeremy Brett), is this news story:

LAKEWOOD, Colo. (AP) — Two men who allegedly tried to use rattlesnakes as deadly weapons to collect on a debt have been charged with conspiracy to commit murder, authorities said.

Read the full article here

Rattlesnakes?  I suppose the silver lining in this story of utter dumbassishness is to point out that perhaps the waiting times for gun purchases are, after all, having an effect. 

It also goes to show that although I support the concept of strict regulation on the sale of guns and ammunition, that you really can’t prevent people from trying to kill each other, and you certainly can’t legislate them out of being stupid. 

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It’s official, males with big testicles have smaller brains - at least in the case of bats, according to  a discovery by scientists at Syracuse University in New York.

Read More:  http://www.sky.com/skynews/article/0,,91059-13475802,00.html

Their study shows a biological trade-off between brains and sperm, with the creatures ‘opting’ for one or the other.

See.  They didn’t have to do a study on that.  I would have thought it’s fairly obvious.

I wonder how they study the IQ of a bat?  Are bats with smaller testicles but bigger brains more or less secure in their identity?  Do bats get spam email telling them that they could, for a very low price and from the comfort of their own caves, remedy one or both of those problems?

I do wonder!

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