OK. Now remember, we’re Blogging for Bitter Women, and–male or female–no matter your age–kids–no kids–we all have thought we have a (fill in the blank) job.

 I’ve been around long enough to (dimly) recall the [wink, wink] talk of referring to the little woman as a Domestic Engineer (which was designed to make homemakers feel better about all the grunge, snot and excrement the job involves.)

Our good friends at MSN’s Careerbuilder division (hmmm?) give us some truly yuckey job descriptions for our consideration.  Want to feel better about yours? Have a look at the Slime Line Worker. Tired of wiping poopy little behinds? Consider the Proctologist.  (How these folks got onto the same list, though, eludes me, as one requires a BS, MD, Internship then Specialty. I make that roughly 15 years of training.)  The SLW earns $9.87/hour, whereas the Proctologist’s average annual salary divides out to $186.90/hour [that is based on a 40 hour week, 52 weeks annually.]

I can identify with several, as it happens; when I cannot go on, slide off into a deep, dark depression, well the coal miner’s job sounds a lot like that.  The Coroner description hits close to home, as well, except my clients are all alive, talk back and want lunch RIGHT NOW.  Give yourself a break, BWs. Pour a cuppa, put your feet up and consider a job swap with any of these.  Tell us how it turns out—you get special Braggin’ Rights if you write your response as poetry. While Jayne is recuperating, we’ll tape it on her fridge.  TTFN.

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If you’ve been blogging, say, more than 10 minutes, you’ve seen countless adverts telling you how to make money doing it.  Well, I’m sure it’s possible, I’d also say it’s unlikely it will ever happen to me.  So for those of us who earn $1.97 a month on Google Adsense, here are some alternative money-making schemes:

1.  Eat Glass and Make $200,000

BOSTON - A man pleaded guilty Wednesday to his role in a multistate scheme in which prosecutors say he and his wife intentionally ate glass at restaurants and collected more than $200,000 in compensation.

Ronald Evano, 49, pleaded guilty to 20 federal counts, including conspiracy, mail fraud, wire fraud and identity theft. Prosecutors dropped four counts of identity fraud and health care fraud in the plea agreement.

Prosecutors say Evano and his wife, Mary, filed fraudulent insurance claims worth more than $200,000, collected more than $200,000 and left a trail of unpaid medical bills totaling more than $100,000 in several states between 1997 and 2005.

From: The Daily American

Now, the downside to this is that this only averages out to about $40,000/year.  Considering there were two of them involved, that’s $20,000 per year EACH.  That’s really hardly worth eating glass for.  I mean McDonald’s managers make more than that.

2.  Expose Yourself

REDWOOD CITY, Calif. (AP) — A 52-year-old man prosecutors called a “career flasher” was sentenced to more than 13 years in prison after pleading no contest to charges he exposed himself to a woman on a commuter train.

Although they call it a career, I don’t see any profit in it.  Sounds like my blog makes more money, and I’m unlikely to go to prison for it.

3.  Flip off the cops

MOBILE, Ala. (AP) — The city of Mobile is appealing a judge’s decision to award $3,000 to a motorist who was arrested for making an obscene hand gesture to a police officer. City attorney Ashton Hill said Wednesday the city is seeking to have Addison DeBoi’s civil suit heard in circuit court.

On July 31, District Court Judge Michael McMaken ruled in favor of DeBoi in his wrongful arrest suit and ordered the police department to pay $3,000.

DeBoi, 56, was arrested by Officer Bristol Hines on Sept. 2, 2005, on a charge of disorderly conduct after he made a hand gesture while the two men were in their vehicles. He was acquitted last year and sued the city for $10,000 in damages, citing time lost from work, the threat of losing his engineering job - which requires a government security clearance - and the embarrassment of being put in jail.

In awarding him $3,000, the judge said police officers must have “thicker skin” than the general public.

Although at first this seems like a good plan, after all, to make a decent living, you’d just have to flip off a few dozen cops, which really doesn’t take any time at all, the whole “appeal” bit makes it tedious, and who wants to spend all that time in court?  Plus, there’s always a chance you’d get the crap beat out of you by cops who got sick of your ass.  Overall, the risks are too high here.

I guess for now I’ll have to stick to the day job, but I’m always keeping my eyes open.

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