There was this thing, and someone asked me to do it, and then took it back and said nevermind.  It was something about tagging and whatever.  I don’t really get it, but the topic amused me anyway, so I’m going to do what I like, and the cow can kiss my ass.

The question was: What 10 Things Would You Like To Do Before You Die?

My answer was: Well, all the things I’d like to do, I’d like to do before I die.  (Maybe that’s why she took back the ‘tag’ offer.)

1.  Clean my desk.  Oh you think I’m supposed to pick something momentous?  Well, this freaking is.  If I wouldn’t embarrass myself beyond all recognition and possibly blush myself to death, I’d post a picture.

2.  Eat an entire Boston Cream Pie (by myself) in one sitting.  I just can’t think of anything that sounds more decadent, and there hasn’t been nearly enough of that in my life.

3.  Have really filthy sex.  Oh… was this supposed to be something I’ve never done before?  Nobody said that, dammit.

4.  Spend an entire month naked.  Do I really need to say why?  I would think it would be obvious.  I always chicken out around the time the postman arrives though.

5.  Stalk some bitch.  Okay there’s this woman I really despise.  It’s sorta odd for me to despise anyone, because I’m pretty laid back and most people I just laugh at, but this woman really needs a good … something.  I think I’d like to mail her a dead armadillo or something but I’ve watched too many episodes of CSI I know I’d probably get caught.  But holy crap some people just need a dead armadillo.

6.  Find the person who said “Half a million people can’t be wrong” in a particular recent commercial running here in the UK, and smack them up’side the head with a frying pan. (I have some really good, heavy pans.)  In fact, anyone who asserts that any number of people can’t be wrong should be punished, and I’d like to be involved.  I’ve found there’s no limit to the number of people who can be catastrophically incorrect.

7.  Delete all incriminating files on my PC.  This is just a good idea for anyone who is going to be dying.  Your family doesn’t want to find that shit.  Actually, I think I have a box of letters from ex’s that should visit a crematorium as well. (The box of letters… not the ex’s…. Although….)

8.  Spend a year at sea.  About as likely as me cleaning my desk, but it’s a lovely thought.

9.  Learn to speak Italian.  I could use the excersize.

10.  Win the Lottery.  I’d just like to see if it would, in fact, change me.  It’s pretty much my last hope.

If you can think of 10 things you’d like to do, either now or before you die, post them on your blog, and let me know, and I’ll put a link to it here, and you can put a link to mine on yours, and we’ll just have some linky goodness.

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Yes!  You’re in the right place!  I know it looks very different, huh?!   It’s all schmancy now.  Hope you guys like it, and please let me know if something doesn’t look right, because I have probably missed something.

Thanks to A Non-Smelly Non-Pirate OCD Guy at mynutsitch.com for pointing out that my comment verifier thing was broken.  You should be able to leave comments now.  I’ll find another anti-spam thingmy soon!

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Here’s additions to my list of things on blogs that make me crabby:

1.  Pop-up adverts.  I wish there was a way to perma-block myself from accidentally returning to blogs that do this.  I’m thinking of getting my firewall involved.  I don’t mind advertising, but pop-ups are just annoying.

2.  Restricted Commenting.  It cheeses me off when I find a blog I like, read an interesting post, and then go to comment (I love to comment) and then find that they only accept blogger.com comments.  I don’t mind if I have to be approved or some such, but this is too much!  And then there are a few weird blogs out there, and even a few really funny ones, that don’t accept comments at all!  WTF!  But I have things to say!

3.  Pet Blogs.  Thanks to Wendy for reminding me of this in my previous post about Blogs I Hate, but Pet Blogs are pretty hideous.  I have a cat.  She’s funny, charming, engaging, and snotty all at the same time.  But, sadly, she isn’t interesting.

I’m as yet undecided about blogs where people post for money.  I see a lot of adverts for that on sidebars, but not very many actual paid posts.  I’m not, as I said before, opposed to people making cash on their blogs.  In fact, I’m downright tickled with the $1.47 I’ve earned for my 284980924832 hours work on this blog.  And, if someone were to offer me $100 to post something about them on my blog, I really think I’d have to say ‘hell yes’, because that would pay for my hosting for a year!

So, I think my general reservation about this is unrestricted jealousy.  The best offer I got so far was the folks over at Associated Content were prepared to give me $3. 

So out of sheer jealousy, pettiness, and bitterness, I’ll add:

4.  Pay Per Post Blogs.  Cuz I’m a bitch.

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I made the theme for this blog when I first started it, but barely a day goes by that I don’t think about changing the theme, redoing the graphics, tweaking this or that and it’s really only a matter of the strictest self-control that I’ve managed NOT to change the theme every single day for the past three months.

I have a feeling I’m not the only one, or else there wouldn’t be 22,489,243,920 sites out there that advertise themes.  I’ve even considered paying $51 for one that would just need a couple new imges, some slight tweaking… blah blah blah.. good lord.

I’ve seen some fabulous looking blogs and some so-so blogs, and the truth is, if the content is good I really don’t care if people use canned themes… so why oh why am I so obsessed.

Ahem.. and don’t be surprised if I redo the site within the next month!  I’m breaking!

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In browsing the Blogosphere lately, I’ve run into some really obnoxious crap, and wonder if I’m just crabby beyong belief, or if this stuff is as annoying as I think it is.  I wasn’t going to write about this at first, for fear of alienating all those people out there who are visiting my blog for the first time, but then I decided that I can live with it.

Blogs I won’t go back to:

1.  Mommy goes on and on about trivial crap their kid does that annoys them.  Yeah, I have a kid too.  They all do it.  It isn’t interesting.

2.  Person whines about …. well…. anything.  No whining!

3.  Person advertises humor blog, but then lapses into blah blah blah about how their life sucks.  (See #2). 

4.  Details about surgery / medical procedures / bowel movements / you get the picture.  We.  Don’t.  Want.  To.  Know.  If you write about crap like that, please don’t advertise your blog on one of the big blog networks as “funny stories about life”.  Your ass isn’t as funny as you think it is.

5.  Blog posts are 30 paragraphs long.  This isn’t literature, and it isn’t ace reporting… it’s you talking about yourself.  It’s like having an annoying aquaintence that talks incessantly and doesn’t even pause for breaths to let you get a word in edgewise.

So is it just me?  Or do these things annoy you too?

Don’t worry.. I’ll go back to being funny tomorrow. 

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