Reporters keep asking, “Is American Ready For A Woman President?” And even though 92% of Americans polled by CBS say yes, dumbass journalists keep asking the question.

My favourite response to this question comes from Elayne Boosler when she said, “Go To Hell. ” But then there are others who say that America isn’t ready, because somehow a person capable of running for office isn’t capable of dealing with accusations of being a lesbian . Now I’m not a big Clinton supporter, but you have to agree that it says something for someone when the worst insult they can come up with is to say you’re tough, bitchy, and probably a lesbian. Note that among those “insults”, nobody has called her stupid.

So it’s journalists that are asking the dumb question, and not “real” people, but just to play along, what would they, the voting American public, have to do to get ready?

I suppose it depends on what you think might happen when a woman gets elected. We’ve had female leaders in the UK and around the world, and I don’t think it required that they reprint all the ballots in pink, nor did they have to close down the government one week out of four. Amazing, huh?

I suppose the biggest thing that needs to be decided before an American woman can become president is what to call her husband. The First Gentleman? That sounds… ridiculous. However, considering that there is only one woman running for president, and were she to win, her husband will be called, as he is entitled to be called for the rest of his life, President Clinton, then it really isn’t something we need to struggle with for a few more years.

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In general, unless you’re a schoolteacher (and at the moment in the process of executing that job), I find it pretty rude to correct other people’s spelling. (Probably this has something to do with the fact that I’m not a good speller myself.  Case in point: I had to look up persuer for this very article.)  Not everyone can spell. Not everyone has English as a first language. So as long as their idea comes across, I don’t care how people do it.

However!

Sometimes it matters.  The following are all examples I’ve seen recently, and… seriously… it’s worth a mention.

“I’m waiting with baited/bated breath.”
Baited means you’ve been eating worms.
Bated means to abate, to lessen, to hold back, i.e. “I can’t breathe.”

Example #2:

“I am tired of looser/loser old men hitting on me.”
Looser means un-tight.  In other words, they might have bowel problems.
Loser means un-winner.

Example #3:

“Please bare/bear with me.”
Bare means naked.  So it turns the phrase into a proposition.
Bear means “hang tight”.  More or less.

Learn these. Trust me.  Unless of course you’re a worm-eating, naked-lovin’ person with bowel afflicted persuers.  In which case, as you were.

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From my last article where I mentioned control freaks, I found there was at least one person who disagreed that such a concept was bad. Then I ran across this, and just had to share it with you.

I can’t decide if it’s funnier that this is listed on a site for Valentine Gift Ideas , or that it was actually my husband that showed it to me.  Oh and if you’re serious about wanting one, it IS a British site, but I checked.. they will ship to the US.  :))

The buttons are a tad hard to read.  According to their site, they say things like:

• Listen,
• Stop Snoring
• Talk about Feelings
• Tell the Truth
• Propose

Personally, I’d like one that was a tad more universal, because if I was going to get to push buttons that would make people do things, I wouldn’t limit it to men, and I’d want to say things like:

• Shut up
• Ummm, shut up
• But mostly: shut up.

If I could control just those three things about people, I’d be in heaven.

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Although we’re technically Blogging for Bitter Women, this one is for the guys.

Quick Tip #3: There is NO Bank

Women might indicate otherwise, for motives I wouldn’t care to speculate on, but when it comes to earning “points” with the woman in your life, there is no bank.  The credit you earn now is the credit you have.   You can’t point back to a good thing you did a week ago and say “But hey I did the dishes without being asked last week.”  It don’t work that way.

Now some might consider this cruel, but it’s not… it’s just simply the way it is, and the sooner you understand the truth of the Chick Point System, the sooner you will be able to achieve the happy status of understanding you so desire.

Let me give you an example:

1. Monday:  Buy flowers for her.  + 10 points
2. Tuesday: Do dishes without being asked +5 points (Assuming this is a point of contention or something you don’t normally do.) Note: This gets fewer points than flowers because you dont’ have to leave the house or spend money to do it.
3. Wednesday: Give her fantastic, thoughful, multi-orgasmic sex. +10 points. (Although you don’t have to leave the house or spend money for this one… hey.. it’s good orgasms.  Shut up.)
4. Thursday: Remember to put gas/diesel in the car on the way home, knowing that she’s going to be using the car first thing in the morning and won’t want to have to stop.  +15 points.

Now.. the quiz… On Friday morning, how many points does he have?

The novice would look at that and say, “Easy… 40 points!”  Oh, you poor, dear soul.  ;))

The correct answer: 0 points.

Don’t cry to me about it.  You should thank me for explaining this.  You got credits for what you did on Monday-Thursday, no doubt, but just remember.. there is no bank.

Remember this, and your life will get easier.  Promise.

(My apologies, by the way, for all the contextual Google  “Get Cheap Credit” ads that are undoubtedly going to be appearing for this one!)

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I posted this originally on AboutBlogging, but I thought I’d post it here too for those of you Bitter Readers who don’t go to both, because I want you to know that I’ve added a couple of things to make commenting here just that much more rewarding!

#1 … I’ve installed Lucia’s Linky Love on both this blog and the AboutBlogging blog. It’s a dofollow wordpress plugin that will enable commenters to get linkbacks to their own sites. (Currently, if you leave a comment on a blog, you do not get link “juice” for it in Google/Technorati with relation to their rankings. This plugin fixes that.) However, to prevent “human comment spammers leaving insipid, irrelevant comments just to get link-juice”, I’m setting this plugin to reward only users who comment 3 times. This way if you’re a regular participant, you get some linky love!

Another thing I’ve added is what I decided to call “Be A Community Builder”. It’s just a way of letting new commenters know that you will show them some love!

Here’s the “pledge”:

…for every new person who leaves a comment on my blog for the first time. I will:

1) Visit your blog or website
2) Visit Several Pages
3) Leave a comment on a post if have something to say
4) If I like your articles/posts, I will bookmark them in Digg, StumbleUpon, Reddit, or other appropriate Social Network.
5) If you tell me that you have subscribed to my RSS feed then I will subscribe to yours as well.

If you’re willing to take the Community Builder pledge(ish), saying that you’re willing to make an effort to do these things for your readers, then why not make a post or put up an icon saying so?

I created some icons which you can see here, and if you email me (my address is on my About page), I will also send you the png files with the layers if you want to edit them yourself to match your website or background a little better. Also, if you comment either here or over at AboutBlogging on the appropriate posts saying that you want to join up, I’ll add your website link to that post on AboutBlogging.

Which I think it’s just pretty darned cool. Thanks Fish!

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