Here I thought I’d have to search for nutty things they are trying to get us to do. Indeed, not!

Today’s headline is “Can Your Diet Make You Young?”  WHAT NOW?  It isn’t enough that  we females, Bitter or otherwise, from when we’re just out of our nappies are brainwashed to moisturize, avoid UV rays (which requires living like a vole, if I’m understanding correctly), stay slim, keep our sexual appetites healthy and vigorous, “put out” often, garden organically, design & decorate our homes with impressing others in mind, and attend university so we might excel in a profession (and the snootier, the better.)  BWs are also encouraged in ways to keep households free of chemicals, to think green  to save the planet, and, oh, did I mention “stay slim”?

Having faced down facism wherever we encountered it, dieted to fit into our wedding gowns on our 25th anniversaries (did I mention “stay slim”?), we are now to believe that a specific diet can (and will) make us young.

I have a question for them: What about all the cash I shelled out for nips and tucks, facials, makeup, push-up bras? What about all the gym memberships, not to mention the wardrobe to wear at said gyms? Now someone is threatening to make me live longer?  Do THEY have any idea how long it has been since my sagging ass was pinched by someone who didn’t accidentally crowd me on a bus?

NO!  Hell, NO!  This is just another goddam con job; we won’t live longer. As was the case with all that other crap they said I should become or do in order to justify taking up space on the planet, it won’t actually make me live longer. It’ll just seem longer.

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