A guy named Mitch Altman invented  the gadget of our dreams that he calls “TV-B-Gone” — countless frequent travelers before him have surely wished for a way to turn off all those obnoxious TVs yammering away at us in bars, lounges, and waiting rooms.

            Remember sitting on a sticky plastic couch, near death’s door, eyes running, head throbbing, chest aching—in the doctor’s waiting room only to be assailed by “The Jerry Springer Show” featuring two fat women from Arkansas or Tennessee pulling each other’s hair, whilst revealing a bit of butt-crack during the fracas, arguing over who done whom wrong with whose “man?”

           Or, you’ve nicely handled the news that still another flight had to be cancelled due to whatever, decide to console yourself with a small drink and nice meal, only to view–in living color–an autopsey on one of America’s proliferation of CSI shows. (How they can scheduled them to fit the dinner hour is uncanny.)

           Well, it had to happen! Mitch had all he could stand, marched right out to the garage, down to the basement or the workshop and whips out a “TV-B-Gone.”

           Manufactured by Cornfield Industries and available through Amazon.com and your nearby Target store.

           Life just doesn’t get better than this (unless, of course, all masters of all Jerry Springer-like shows vanished into the ether….as though someone had invented, say, the “Garbage-B-Gone.”)  Imagine how much fun it would be at home – if you happen to be married to a Remote-Hog–even if you can’t change the channel with it, you can turn it off.  Failing that, just buy yourself a universal remote, program it and keep it behind that little pink cushion you use behind your behind. He’ll never find it there.  Cheers, girl friends.

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